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Parenting Expert Dr Miriam Stoppard speaks to Sunny Days
Written by Jayne Kearney   

Dr Miriam Stoppard has been at the forefront of the revolution in health information since she began her writing and broadcasting career in the early 1970s.Since that time she has become well known to millions all over the world as a leading authority on parenting, baby and child care, women's health, and many other topics from healthy eating to relationships and sex. She is a medical doctor (she studied medicine at the universities of London and Durham) and a parent herself - she has two sons of her own and four step-children - and is now also a grandparent. In 1998 she was made a Fellow of the Royal College of Physicians in recognition of her work in promoting healthcare information.

A new edition of Miriam's Conception, Pregnancy and Birth is now available. This edition has been fully adapted for the Australian market, and given a fresh new jacket. It includes a month-by-month development guide, the latest on fertility, antenatal testing, diagnostic procedure, labour choices and caring for your newborn as well as reassuring, practical advice on all aspects of your antenatal care. Plus, find trusted advice for dads-to-be plus helpful case studies which look at a range of issues from infertility to caring for premature babies.

 

To coincide with the June 'Bumps & Bubs' edition of Sunny Days (at your favourite Sunny Days spot now) we asked Miriam a few questions.

SUNNY DAYS: In your many years in the field of parenting, baby and child care you have no doubt seen an evolution of the theory surrounding these fields. What never changes?


MIRIAM STOPPARD: My answer is the importance of love. All parents should know that love is important and in particular touch, hugs and cuddles which actually result in the production of the growth hormone that aids the baby’s development. Nowadays there’s a lot of science to show that love determines how the baby’s brain grows. Love makes a baby’s brain mature and healthy and lack of it does the opposite resulting in toddles which cry easily and difficult to comfort and later become destructive, perform badly academically and go onto being anxious and depressed adults.
The importance of love can be undermined by some child care practices that go in and out of fashion.  One is controlled crying where a child can be left to cry for so long that it vomits. I’m wholly and absolutely against this because a baby who’s crying has a brain that bathed in stress hormone which deters growth and development.


SD: What do you think are some of the challenges faced by pregnant women today?

MS: The biggest issue is obesity. Obesity is associated with premature labour, premature birth, higher caesarean sections and instrumental deliveries. It also means that hospitals have to have reinforced equipment in order to cope with them.
I’m constantly surprised by many women who continue to smoke, drink alcohol and take recreational drugs while pregnant. All of these have detrimental effect on their baby’s health during pregnancy, after pregnancy and later in life. For instance babies whose mothers smoke are low birth weight, may miscarry, maybe stillborn, after birth are subject to chest infections and other infections and later to asthma and allergies.


SD: What are the challenges faced by expectant dads?

MS: Being supportive. I think dads should be involved in pregnancy from the moment of a positive pregnancy test.  He should read up on as much as he can about what his wife is experiencing and what they can expect to happen.  Attend ante-natal classes and parenting classes to help his wife draw up a birth plan. Be present at the birth to look after the partner’s interest during the birth and hold the baby within a half hour of birth to make sure he bonds with his new child.

SD: What aspects of conception, pregnancy, childbirth and parenting do you think are not discussed enough?

MS: I’d say breastfeeding. If a partner doesn’t want his partner to breastfeed it’s very difficult for her to do so. Breastfeeding should be straight forward but it often isn’t and a woman needs her partner’s support to get it established. A man has to be very understanding during this time as a woman needs every bit of help that she can get and a man should encourage a woman to breastfeed for a minimum of six months. Breastmilk can be expressed and therefore a man can do night feeds and share the feeding routine.


SD: What is usually the biggest surprise (or shock) that new parents receive when their baby arrives?

MS: Crying. No one tells parents how much a newborn baby cries and while they can be asleep for 15-16 hours a day they do cry a lot and very often and it’s hard to know why they’re crying. Especially regular crying at the end of the day and evening (colic). I don’t believe that a baby should ever be left to cry and, unless partners take turns and decide how they’re going to handle the crying, (my favourite is “rapid return” which is kind and humane) then crying can become harrowing for parents especially if it disturbs sleep.


SD: What do you think are some of the most common mistakes made by parents today?

MS: First of all there are not many. Parents who follow their instincts cannot do wrong. I think when baby gurus come along and put parents off of following their instincts they should resist at all costs. For instance one school of thought says that if you keep a baby awake so that he misses his nap he stands a better chance sleeping through the night. That can’t be further from the truth. The truth is the more a baby sleeps the more a baby sleeps. It’s worth observing a baby to find out her particular signs of tiredness and put her down in the short window of opportunity.

SD: If you could offer an expectant couple just three bits of advice what would you say?

MS: First one would be talk (reassure, support) second one would be share (concerns, worries, joys, excitement) third one would be plan (to share all aspects of baby care equally, to take time out for the two of you at least once a week).


SD: If you could offer parents just three bits of advice what would you say?

MS: First one is to take your lead from your baby. Second one never leave your baby to cry and third do whatever you have to do to get enough sleep.

 

Our thanks to Miriam for her thoughts and advice. For your chance to win a pack containing four books by Dr Miriam Stoppard, click here.

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