MUM SAID...

I have been called a helicopter parent once or twice before. It’s a handle I’m kind of used to - although I don’t think it’s really me at all. After all, I have been known to toss the kids out into the yard with nothing more than a stick and a cardboard box and dare them to have fun for three hours.

And when my son was a toddler he had quite a taste for dog poo, sand and Play Doh. I just sat back and let him experiment to his heart’s content. So colour me Free Range.

But I do have one parenting non-negotiable, and if it makes me a helicopter then I’ll happily set my propellor spinning. For me it’s all about education.
Coming from a single parent, working class family, money was tight and opportunities were limited. But I was a good student with a natural affinity for learning and a love of books and words. I enjoyed school and took pride in my achievements.

Harnessing the power of education took me through a university degree, a teaching diploma, a few years as a secondary school English teacher and tutor, and from there onto a career as a freelance writer and my job here with Sunny Days. Without my education I would have achieved none of these things.

Naturally I want the same for my kids - it has always been one of the major tenets of my parenting philosophy. So yes, I read to my kids as newborns. Yes, I sought out educational CDs and DVDs when they were babies. Yes, I had a multitude of enriching activities to hand when they were toddlers.

Therefore, it was only natural that when I was preparing to send them off to childcare I was interested in the educational component of the centre they attended.
The local centre our kids went to operated as both long day care and pre-school. The arrangement was that during the hours of 9-3 kids would be engaged in traditional pre-school ‘learning’ activities, and then in less structured activities for the remainder of the day. I know play is as imperative for kids as the educational aspect so I was happy with the balance.

But did pre-school education make my kids any more inclined to a studious life? Well, at eight and nine it’s probably too early to tell. My daughter is not a bookworm like I was - and I sometimes worry about that. But at the moment that’s just her. My son, on the other hand, devours books. That makes me happy because I know it can be hard to get boys to read. But they both love school - even though I suspect this is mainly because they love their friends.

What I have realised is that the choice to engage with education is exactly that, a choice. It’s one I made for myself at an early age. I hope my kids will too. Of course I will encourage them but, ultimately, their life choices will be their own. And that’s the one thing I really hope they learn.

DAD SAID...

If I was asked to sum up in just a few words what I expect from my four-year-old daughter’s child care minders as I drop her off each morning it would be this: Return her alive. Occasionally feed her.

It’s not that I have low expectations of day care (our day care is great) but just that I don’t have expectations. Day care is there simply to replace me for several hours. It’s an extended play date that I don’t have to attend.

I don’t need her to be educated. I don’t need her horizons expanded. I don’t need for her to learn how to read or write. I just want somewhere where she feels comfortable, has friends and can run around and mess about.

Now I could get all Google and suggest that I want this because research suggests playing is good for children’s development but, if I’m honest, it’s because I wish I was four. Life is pretty straightforward at four. Hang out with your mates. Straight talk. If you want to go somewhere, you run until you are there. Painting. Afternoon sleeps.

Is there a parent out there who wouldn’t appreciate an afternoon nap? If you don’t, of course, there’s the book corner (with cushions) for a quiet read. If reading isn’t your thing, there are giant books with great pictures. Giant books with pictures are awesome. Sign me up.

Now I’m aware some parents want the best for their child. Reading at the earliest age. A development plan. More than just basic counting. Exposure to computers. Grown up stuff.

I’m not saying growing up is a bad thing. And I’m pro-education. I encourage my daughter to read at home. At home, what you do is what your child will want to do, be it play music, read books, garden or whatever. Your hobbies become their hobbies. But as far as structured learning is concerned, it can wait.

We only have such a short time when we are truly equal. By the time my daughter doubles her age she’ll know the difference between popular and unpopular, especially when referring to her classmates. At four though, your best mate is whoever is sitting next to you in the sand pit. Especially if Tonka trucks are involved.

And that is where the benefit lies: kids developing social skills. Kids discussing ideas such as, ‘running makes any game better’ and, ‘what would happen if we take all the sand out of the sand pit?’ are creating the moments when they start to grow as people. Sure, it leads to the popular/unpopular divide eventually but, for the moment, it is simply fun.

Of course, social development and other things like learning to follow instructions and how to perform basic tasks like putting toys away are a form of learning. Essential ones to learn before school – kids can’t learn if they can’t follow instructions.

So there’s no doubt my kids will learn while at day care. However, my idea of what they should be learning now is not reading and penmanship but, simply, how to be kids.
So, Day Care: please don’t kill her. And feed her occasionally.

What the experts say:

The importance of play:
‘Creative play is a central activity in the lives of healthy young children. It helps children weave together all the elements of life as they experience it. It allows them to digest life and make it their own. It is an outlet for the fullness of their creativity, and it is an absolutely critical part of their childhood.’ Joan Almon  
Play is so important to optimal child development that it has been recognised by the United Nations High Commission for Human Rights as a right of every child. Play allows children to use their creativity while developing their imagination, dexterity, and physical, cognitive, and emotional strength. Play is important to healthy brain development, and allows children at a very early age to engage and interact with the world around them. Perhaps, above all, play is a simple joy that should be a cherished part of childhood.

Brain Development:‘Research on brain development has shown that any attempt to maximize intellectual growth must begin in the first three years of life. The younger the child, the stronger the effect. Beginning education at age five is too late. Brain development before age one is more rapid and extensive than previously realised. Babies are born with billions of brain cells, many more than they have at age three, and nearly twice as many as they have as adults.’  Fun Start, June Oberlander, Exisle Publishing, 2005.

RESOURCES:

Department of Education, Employment and Workplace Relations Early Education Fact Sheet

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Comments (2)

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Susan @ ReadingUpsideDown said:

... I can't comment on what day care/pre-school should/shouldn't provide, as my kids were at home full-time until they began school, so I'll keep my comments more general. I agree with you both. I think that it's important to foster a love of learning in children from a young age, but I also think that free play and creative opportunities are a large part of developing that love. I've read with my children since they were newborns. A story (or 2 or 3) and cuddle has always been part of our nighttime routine. My house is overflowing with books and games and activities, mostly with some element of thinking involved - whether it be word games, creative play, numbers, or otherwise. As I have spent time with my kids and watched what things have caught their interest, I have been able to better provide them with opportunities to think and develop their imagination and creativity. Doing things that they love doesn't feel like 'learning' and gradually, their love of what they are doing becomes associated with a love of learning in general. All three of my children are in primary school. They all love to learn and enjoy school. They have wonderful imaginations, can entertain themselves for hours and play well with other children of various ages. They are happy and seem well-adjusted. For me, forced education at a young age was never something that appealed to me. Childhood lasts for such a short time. I want their memories to be of fun and laughter and craziness, not bookwork and tests. I seem to have waffled on without making a clear point (not unusual for me), but I guess the final word is that in my mind formal schooling lasts a long, long time. Some fun and laughter and freedom before it begins seems more than reasonable to me.

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Tue (29/31) - 12:31 pm
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Bern said:

A bit of both. I can relate to both opinions. All three of my children have been in daycare from quite early ages as I went back to work. The thing I love about daycare is their ability to play and do stuff with my kids that to be honest, I just don't really want to do. I love hanging out with my kids and adore them, but if I have to play one more game of duck duck goose, not only will I pull a hammy, more than likely you'll find me rocking in the corner somewhere. All three are different even though all three have been to same day care centre. Daughter has always been into reading and writing. Son number 1, not so much. For Son number two, still in day care, I see the fantastic aspects. In our house, with his brother and his sister, he thinks he's the kingpin, but at kindy, well a few home truths were learned. He had to learn his pecking order and I think that's a great life lesson. As for learning his abc's and 123's, I don't remember being overly concerned with the last two and they do ok and just got really good school reports. They also had him toilet trained (I just had to continue on what they were doing) by 2. Fully trained because two other little kids in his class were doing it and he wanted to be on board. I reckon I am a better parent for NOT being home 24/7 with them. But I also know there are some out there born to do exactly that. I think it's important to take the guilt out of either choice and everyone will be happy. Sorry to go off course, great article, loved it.

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Tue (29/36) - 12:36 pm
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