MUM SAID...

My two boys are back to school with eleventy-nine pairs of new grey socks because apparently all the old grey socks are ‘floppers’.  Mr 9 is heading into Year 4 and Mr 7 into Year 3 - no more infants for him, he’s a big boy now!

I don’t tend to do a lot of worrying, certainly not about the things that are within my control. But one of the great realisations of parenting for me has been how becoming a parent makes you vulnerable. More than I ever imagined.

Mr 7 was born with a serious congenital heart defect - all very terrifying at the time but, to cut a long story short, he was beautifully and completely ‘re-plumbed’ and is now ‘just like a bought one’, as my father would say. But I was terribly worried when he started school.  Worried that SOMETHING might happen to him. I wasn’t entirely sure what, just something. And nothing good.

Mr 9, on the other hand, has always been the picture of health - tall, long-limbed, tawny-skinned and, unlike his little brother, not quite as accident prone. Of course I cried the day Mr 9 started school, but I think we all do that. Don’t we? (Say: ‘Yes Carol’.)

Back to school for 2011 and we have another little challenge. After what seemed a minor incident on Christmas Eve, it would appear that Mr 9 also has an issue with his heart. Completely different to Mr 7 (and although as yet officially undiagnosed it should be much easier to deal with) but no less worrying. Mr 7 was plumbing, Mr 9 is electrical.

So this year, my beautiful boys are heading back to school with eleventy-nine pairs of grey socks and a shared cardiologist. Mr 9 used to express a slight envy whenever Mr 7 had a day off school for his annual cardiac check-up, I so dearly hope that this year my greatest concern will be trying to get them appointments on the same day!

But you know what? We’re lucky. As a journalist I hear of and share so many stories with the audience that make me laugh, make me cry, shock or horrify me, inspire me and encourage me. I regularly interview people who have been through things that I just can’t begin to imagine, let alone imagine how I might manage should I be in their shoes. I hope this gives me true perspective.

So heading into the 2011 school year, I’m looking forward to Mr 7 and Mr 9 coming home with or without hats, with various limbs grazed, smooshed bananas in the bottom of their bags and the bum ripped off their pants - hopefully only on days that they do actually wear underpants. They’re boys, I can only control so much.

DAD SAID...

For five years I’ve maintained a quiet confidence regarding my ability to raise a child by the method of, well, pretty much leaving them alone. I’m not saying I’m not an involved parent, but I haven’t forced anything onto my children - other than Rabbitoh’s jerseys, ukuleles and the occasional push out the back door. For me, the goal pre-pre-school was for my firstborn, Jas, to have a childhood, not a daily task plan.

Jas, now five and a half, is an active, curious child. She’s been jumping out of her skin for the last six months to go to ‘big school’. Despite the fact that we have never actively sought to foist literacy upon her, she knows her alphabet, will happily copy out any writing she sees and can write her name and address from memory. And, thanks to Snakes and Ladders, she can count to one hundred quite well.

As free-range parents, people often assume we are anti-education because we are anti-pressure. However, my wife and I want Jas to like school. She eats her breakfast.  She’s even somewhat obedient. You’d think she was a gold-pressed-ready-for-school child.

Well I certainly thought so, until I attended five days of orientation at the local primary school: “Make sure she can read. Make sure she knows her capitals from lower case. If she’s already competent at subtraction, work on her multiplication.”

With those few sentences, my parenting philosophy didn’t seem so clever any more. Perhaps I shouldn’t have laughed off day-care education so much. Maybe I shouldn’t have been expecting to dump an alert, intelligent child who can follow instructions off at big school with a note saying “Learn ‘er good”. Could it be that instead of getting my gardening done on the cheap by having her dig for and count worms I should have been busting out the flash cards? In French?

And so, here I was, leaving each orientation day feeling a little more freaked out. I’m pretty certain the school doesn’t actually expect Jas to be able to do multiplication before starting Kindergarten, they’ve just set - in corporate speak - stretch targets. It took me a few days to shake the feeling that I’d been doing it all wrong.

But shake it I did. After all, a kid who requests to wear their school uniform every second day and has been practicing tying her shoes laces ever since we bought her school shoes isn’t going to collapse. She’s keen. I’m keen. She’ll show up fed and ready. Any teacher could take her and run with her. The baseline for Jas’ first day at school should be a good night’s sleep, a good breakfast and an ability to listen to instructions. Anything else is a plus.

It was a relief when the school newsletter arrived requesting that, for the first day, a child should bring a bag with lunch in it. Pencil case: optional. Pencil case optional? Now that sounds like a pretty good first day.

Is your child starting school this year? Or returning as an ‘old hand’? How did their first day go?
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kim barrie said:

dad said swimming lessons are important I am writing to congratulate Chris on having his priorities right for his kids after-school activities. As a swimming teacher in Valentine, it is fantastic to see that someone puts swimming lessons as the most essential after school activity any child should do, and should do it all year round. Well done and even my 12 year old daughter, Krista, still has swimming as her first and most important after school activity. It might just save their lives one day. Kim Barrie[removed]void(0);

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