| The season for sadness |
| Written by Jodie McEwen |
 From Edition 15 - November 2008The season of peace, joy and goodwill is upon us, but for some people the holiday period is a time of stress, worry and strife. Jodie McEwen reports on the harsh reality of Christmas depression. Relationship breakdown, grief and other life pressures can make the festive season emotionally taxing - woeful instead of joyful. At a time of year when families gather and finances can be tight, the Christmas season can highlight anxiety, grief and relationship difficulties. Sometimes, holidays hurt. Money issues, relationship hassles and the absence of people we love can create heartache and sadness at this time of the year. beyondblue CEO, Leonie Young, recognises that the festive season can be a stressful time and cautions people to watch out for the signs of depression over the Christmas break. “Many people build up to this time of year with great expectations only to face anticlimax if their hopes aren’t fulfilled.” With one in five Australians dealing with some form of mood disorder in their lives, we all need to be aware of the symptoms, both in ourselves, and in those we love. beyondblue works to raise awareness and address issues related to depression, anxiety, post-natal depression and bipolar disorder by educating people about the risk factors. Symptoms including loss of appetite, inability to sleep or feeling like there is no hope are all indicators that may warrant a visit to your GP. Getting through daily life can feel like an extreme sport when trying to balance grief with the usual Christmas stressors. Under normal circumstances, most of us spend our holidays trying to remind ourselves that it is all about giving and getting along. Add a serving of grief and the pain factor can increase to excruciating levels. Those experiencing the grief of losing a family member or someone close to them can find that the celebrations magnify their feelings of anguish. We tend to have a mental picture of how things should be, and the current reality becomes painfully and obviously different. Memories of past Christmases with the lost loved one can make the joy of celebrating bittersweet. When it all comes down to it, it’s just not the same without them. Missing someone is also a recurring theme when the family unit becomes fractured. Feelings of isolation and loneliness are common following separation, divorce, and family breakdown. These factors may mean children are apart from one or both of their parents at a time when being together is significant. Belinda, a mother who has alternate Christmases with her children, explains. “You just miss them. It doesn’t feel like Christmas. Christmas is about family and the most family thing you can have is your children. There’s no greater fun than watching your kids open their presents on Christmas morning.” The logistics of complying with court orders, dealing with extended family and making sure that everybody sees whoever they need to see can make the season a physical and emotional challenge. Belinda continues, “It’s just like a revolving door. When distance is an issue, it means one parent misses out completely on seeing their kids on Christmas Day. And, depending on how the holidays are split, it could be up to two weeks afterward till you see them again.” Andrew Marsh from The Samaritans says that they are seeing an increase in single dads who are struggling financially during the festive season. As well as paying child support, these dads are also trying to provide for their kids when they stay with them during the holidays. The extra meals and gifts can mean that there is little or no money left. That’s when the annual Christmas Lunch in the Park at the Newcastle Foreshore can help alleviate the pressure. Now in it’s eighth year this event sees almost 200 volunteers provide Christmas lunch for over 500 people. “We’ve also seen a huge increase in homelessness in the last few months,” says Andrew. “Extra bills at this time of the year squeeze the budget, and people can get evicted around Christmas.” Last year, The Samaritans introduced a gift warehouse, so that parents who are struggling to make ends meet can choose a present for their child. “We are working together with the Salvation Army and the Wesley Mission to provide a selection of donated gifts. Having a choice gives people the dignity to select something that is personal and appropriate for their own child,” says Andrew. beyondblue psychologist Dr Nicole Highet said stress linked to Christmas and holidays should not be confused with the illness known as depression. If this stress continues however, it may lead to distress which can, in some instances, lead to depression. Individuals who have been diagnosed with depression or another form of mental illness, and those who care for them, should be alert to the heightened risk factors of additional stress and increased needs. Nicole says, “People with depression sometimes find that holidays interfere with their regular routine and visits to their health care professionals may be interrupted because of the holidays. This means they may rely more on their family and friends for support, which can create tension on both sides. We need to be aware of the feelings of people who aren’t well, especially around the Christmas and New Year period.” Dawn O’Neil, CEO of Lifeline Australia echoes the advice. “Christmas can be a time of celebrating with family and friends, relaxing and taking time out to enjoy life. For many individuals, however, the holiday season can heighten feelings of isolation or loneliness. Any number of problems can arise during the festive season as a result of having people together, excessive alcohol consumption and money pressures. It’s not unusual for people to feel stressed or overwhelmed by all the expectations that come with Christmas festivities.” Christmas is a time to show that we care about one another and for sharing a sprinkling of kindness in a too-busy world. In keeping with the traditional meaning of the season, we should all take the time to consider whether someone we know might need additional support at this time of year, and make an effort to connect with them. Tips for relieving the stress of Christmas
visit lifeline.org.au 13 11 14, samaritans.org.au 1300 656 336 or Brunker Rd Emergency Relief Services ph 4922 1500 |