| Talking to teachers |
| Written by Rebecca Welsh |
From Edition 10 – June 2008Talking to the teacher can be one of the most puzzling and frustrating conversations you have about your child – or one of the most rewarding and informative, as Rebecca Welsh realises. With all the focus these days on being involved in your children’s education, an increasing number of parents are rushing to talk to their child’s teacher(s) about anything and everything - yet not always to the effect they desire. What goes wrong? Both teachers and parents are usually caring, informed and involved with the children on a daily basis. You would assume that together they would make a formidable team with a common aim - maximising your child’s school experience. What gets in the way of this natural partnership is perspective. Sometimes, parents can direct blame at a teacher for their child’s issues at school, which leaves the teacher feeling immediately defensive. By the same token, teachers usually have between 20 and 30 students in their class and don’t always have time to stop and chat about one of them on the run, which can leave parents feeling ignored. But it doesn’t have to be that way. There are a number of easy things you can do as a parent to get the most out of your relationship with your child’s teacher. Firstly, ask yourself what you specifically want to know about your child. Are you concerned about their academic performance? Is it a behaviour issue? Are they being bullied? Having trouble with their homework? Do you just want to know how they are doing? Also, ask your child if they have anything they would like you to follow up. Then write a list of specific questions, so you don’t forget anything important. Secondly, set up an appointment or arrange a one-on-one conference, and tell the teacher what you need to talk about. That way you have time to organise your thoughts, and the teacher can give considered responses. And thirdly, when you are speaking to the teacher, don’t be aggressive or critical. Try not to use phrases like, “You should have…”, or “Why didn’t you…”, as they may make the teacher feel as though you are blaming them for the problem. Try, “Can we talk about….” to open the conversation neutrally, and refer to your own concerns specifically - “I feel worried about…”, or “I was confused about…” In addition, ask what you could be doing at home to help - whether the issue is academic, behavioural, or anything else - to let the teacher know you are committed to a partnership for the sake of your child. Chances are, once you and the teacher have arrived on the same page, you will be able to find some straightforward strategies to tackle your concerns - and move forward from there. And once you have established a good rapport and opened the lines of communication with the teacher, you will reap the benefits and so will your child. |